I know someday I will finally see something in myself. I have to. I mean if I have lived this long and have not fallen down deep enough to no return there must be something still out there for me. Something to find. I wish it would hurry up. The worlds getting to hard to stand sometimes. Like always of course and it is the same for everyone. Just because I think I'm going crazy doesn't necessarily mean I am. I talk to myself and argue the good and the bad. Usually ending in the bad. But who's to say many people don't do that. I'm not going to just sit here and pity myself because I definitely do not need it. I have two feet that I seem to stand on pretty firmly and my head is so fucked up. I will be a great artist. Almost all artists are crazy I guess so I'll fit the mold hahaha. Something that I will actually fit into. Fuck maybe it will feel good.